To the lady staring at me weirdly while I was unloading the pram in 1st floor Southland Myer this morning im the one who was still in my pyjamas staring back in total denial of being
dressed so-five-hours-ago. Im the one who burnt her forehead trying to enter our unpredictable shower after getting home, (realising her unMelbournelike misdemeanour) while the phone was ringing out.
It was only the Mr, afterall.
Im the one who gratefully washed her hair after a two day delay to discover there was no conditioner left. Im the one who tried to access the credit card account to find it was blocked and found we were overdue last months payment, reached for the other card and bought two pairs of pyjamas anyway. They were on sale okay!?
Before these and many other scenarios involving the men in my life I was the one happily esconced in my home studio listening to the morning wakenings of oak tree nestled birds, and our own little baby bird's murmurings, tidying and beginning my day with dreams of brown paper packages tied up with string. I was the one offering coffee and tea and hot porridge aplenty. I was the one changing white cotton to black.
I was the one sifting through needles and pins and relocating them in their new cushions. Thank you Leonie for my muse, Helena, as she holds the secret to my carded stashes while she protects the teeniest pins waiting to be used for just this purpose. Im the one who revels in doing the little and the strange while there are so many bigger issues at stake. Im the one who was cursing the banks for closing early at four while serenely positive a real estate agent was going to still be open at six. Im the one who wants to yell 'I dont want to!' into the nearest homemade pillow.
Im the one who got to cuddle and watch Violet fall asleep tonight. Im the one now being stroked on the cheek by the Mr on the couch tonight while we hold hands watching his favourite programs. Im the one who will wake up happier tomorrow if I think today wasnt quite what I had in mind.